


How Harry Potter became the King of Hell

by SMenace25



Series: Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived to Annoy [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bored Harry Potter, Dark Harry Potter, Gen, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:07:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29850930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SMenace25/pseuds/SMenace25
Summary: What the title says.Also, why letting Harry Potter be bored is a Very Bad Idea.
Series: Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived to Annoy [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594978
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	How Harry Potter became the King of Hell

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EnemyMine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnemyMine/gifts).



> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy, and it was worth the wait.

It was a regular Tuesday morning at Privat Dr.

Petunia was busy watching her neighbours through the crack in the curtains in the kitchen.

Vernon was busy at work, getting his third breakfast of the day. And honestly thinking no one at Grunnings, or at Privat Dr. knew.

Like everything else he _knew_ he was entirely wrong.

And the pig in a wig, erm, sorry, Dudley. Well Dudley was trying to figure out how _he_ could get a fourth breakfast. Or possibly how he could make his stupid little friends to carry him everywhere, unless he was punching someone.

As for the last member of the, well, not family, but certainly the household. Young Harry Potter was bored. And a bored Harry Potter was a very dangerous thing. A bored Harry Potter was liable to make some _interesting_ choices. Right now, he was about to make another.

“How to Summon a Demon in twelve easy steps”

That _did_ sound like an interesting book, Harry thought to himself with a smirk.

And really, if his _friends_ didn’t want him to be bored, they could contact him instead of listening to a demented old headmaster. After all, _they_ weren’t the ones who had watched a friend get killed in front of them by that damn _rat_.

Now, _that_ could be a good use for a Demon. Kill that rat. Maybe even the Dark Wanker while it was at it.

After all, if the headmaster wanted Harry to kill Mouldy Voldie in a particular way, he should open his mouth and _tell him._

The book seemed easy enough to follow. And really, he hadn’t scared his darling _relatives_ in a while. At least not since the last time darling Vernon tried to put him in his place last summer. It was amusing really, how quickly they forgot what he could do, when he was bored.

__________________________________________________________________________________

The rituals were all fairly simple, no need for the blood of innocents, or a willing death, or even just some ritualistic mutilation.

_Unfortunately_ , Harry mused.

He knew at least three people he wouldn’t have minded sacrificing.

__________________________________________________________________________________

The Demon Harry summoned was small, like miniscule.

At barely two feet tall, it was bright, venomous green.

With beady red eyes.

And some enormous hands.

With some pretty impressive claws.

_Maybe_ , mused Harry, _this will be alright._

“So, what is your name?” Harry asked the Demon.

It blinked its seven beady red eyes at Harry, and answered in a surprisingly English, and feminine, voice,

“I am the Great Helen. And you, child, who are you?”

“I am Harry Potter, Great Lady Helen.” Harry replied with a flourished bow.

“Oh, you are a charmer aren’t you, child. Well, why did you summon a Demon, young Harry?”

Harry considered the Great Helen for a moment, and decided to be completely honest, for once.

“Well, not only was I very, atrociously, bored, being ignored by my friends all summer on the say so of a twinkly eyed, demented Headmaster, I was also hoping that whomever I summoned may be able to help me dispose of a Dark Lord that is wishing to kill me.”

The Great Helen hummed for a moment and then replied,

“Unfortunately, I can’t help you with either problems. There are rules about Demons helping Humans. The Ruler of Hell makes the rules. If, however, we had a new King of Hell, they could make any rules they wanted.” The Great Helen smirked at Harry.

“Well,” Harry mused, “I am very bored, and I have nothing better to do this summer.”

“We also have carnivorous pine trees that enjoy eating Humans.” The Great Helen tempted.

“Carnivorous Christmas Trees. That sounds like fun.” Harry smirked.

Suddenly his holidays seemed far less boring as the Great Helen offered Harry one of her hands, being careful of the claws.


End file.
